funk dagger
Performed by Johnny Stranger
Written by Peter Anthony
Here’s a little story about a fella from Tasmania called Funk Dagger.
I’m sure you know the type.
He’s the kind of cat you’d find in a bar on Wednesday night.
Drunk by 7 o’clock. Bartender’s already pulled his tab.
We all have a little funk dagger in our lives.
So let’s celebrate together.
Funk Dagger
Loves things that go bump in the night.
Yeah, he’s more than just a ladies man.
He’s more than just your average hairy-chested tycoon.
He’s every man’s man and - when he walks into the room -
All the heads turn on cue and quite a few stomaches.
Funk Dagger
Loves things with a rump to pitch.
Yeah, he’s more than just a little drunk.
He’s known for his powdery infamy.
He throws on that Van Halen on that retro jukebox
and then dances till he obtains ecstasy.
People are always wondering, where’d he get that name: Funk Dagger?
Perhaps out of an unhealthy obsession with cutlery.
Or maybe he just liked to funk
and go for a ride on that rainbow-colored centipede.
Funk Dagger
Oh funk in the night.
yeah, he’s more than just a superhero.
He has no fear of Kryptonite.
He’ll expel all the villains with a thrust of his hips
and his bulbous belly will jiggle while he twists.
Funk Dagger
Oh funk in the night.
So the moral of the story kids is…
don’t do drugs.
Or at least any of those tasty illegal ones.
The kind that’ll make you stutter and stagger.
The kind that’ll turn you into Funk Dagger.